The Self-Regulated CEO’s Real Edge | EP 537

🔗 Mentioned on this Episode: Show Notes 👈

What if the thing keeping you from your next level isn’t strategy, but overstimulation?

In this episode, I share why a dysregulated nervous system is the real expansion blocker for high-achieving women scaling their businesses. Through personal stories, client breakthroughs, and practical self-care strategy, I show how to spot the subtle signs of comparison overload and how to move through it with grace.

You’ll learn a 4-step framework from my Seasons Self-Care Cycle that helps you ground your energy, reclaim your creative edge, and trust your next move without needing another scroll session. If you’ve been spinning from too many options or wondering why your growth feels stuck even when you're “doing less,” this conversation is for you.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Your Real Competition
• 0:32 Series: Expansion Blockers
• 2:20 Defining Comparison Overload
• 2:50 Sheila’s Pivot And Trap
• 5:10 Highlight Reels vs Reality
• 6:34 Community As Antidote
• 8:20 Client Story: Performer’s Pivot
• 10:20 Four-Step Self-Care Cycle
• 12:07 Nervous System As Edge
• 13:25 Reframing Comparison Into Courage

Transcript

Sheila: 0:02

So many people think their biggest competition is the person with the bigger audience, the slicker branding, or the loudest launch. But it's not. The real competition is your own dysregulated nervous system, the one that scrolls, compares, and second guesses instead of creating. In this episode, I'll show you why your body, not the algorithm, holds your biggest edge and how calming your nervous system is the fastest path to clarity, creativity, and cash flow. Hi, welcome to the podcast. I'm Sheila Botello, and I believe true success is built from the inside out. And today we are continuing with our series called Expansion Blockers. If you've been growing your business for a while, you've probably already noticed that success doesn't always feel lighter as you go. In fact, sometimes the more you achieve, the more friction you feel. The calendar fills, the opportunities multiply, and yet something feels stuck. Those friction points, those invisible places where your energy, your focus, or your confidence gets tangled, those are what I call expansion blockers. Those are sticking points and they're invitations. They're the body's way and your business's way of saying something is ready to evolve. We're going to continue looking at some of the most common expansion blockers that I see come up from my high-achieving clients. Instead of just looking at the revenue, there is another level of growth, peace, and impact available to them. And each week, I'm going to guide you through one of them. So what this looks like, how it sneaks in, what it feels like in your body, and the practices that help you move through it with clarity and ease. So think of this like a kind of a gentle audit of your inner world, the part that drives everything that you create outwardly. The expansion blocker we're exploring today is something I've seen in every season of entrepreneurship. And yes, I've experienced it myself more than once. And it's called comparison overload. This happens when you know that you're capable and you know you're experienced, you've created real results, and yet your eyes start drifting sideways and you start scrolling. You peek at what others in your industry are doing and not just for market research. And the irony is the more accomplished you are, the sneakier this one becomes because it hides behind research, analysis, and market awareness. So let me take you back to a time when I was deep in this. I'd spent years working specifically in the wellness space, supporting other wellness professionals, and I loved it. But I felt called to something broader, helping high-impact entrepreneurs in different industries blend business growth with well-being. And the moment I made that decision, my feed started to really grow. And everywhere I looked, there were coaches, consultants, and strategists who had been in the wider business arena for a decade longer than I had. Their websites looked perfect, their brands were cohesive, their launches were glossy, and they had so many stacks and stacks of testimonials. And because social media was becoming busier at the time and noisier than it had ever been, I fell into the trap of believing that what I saw online was the full picture. Even though intuitively I knew that that was not true. My body was telling me something different. And what I didn't realize then was that, of course, that's what we all know as the highlight reel. And it wasn't yet popular to talk about the messy middle, the moments of uncertainty, the pivots, the behind-the-scene chaos. So I looked around and thought, I'm not ready. I need to be more polished before I can be visible at that level. It felt constricting in my body, like there was a weight on my chest. And every time I'd start moving forward on my projects, I'd glance sideways at what others were doing and feel the tension begin to rise. And here's what would happen next. I'd second guess myself. I'd think, maybe I should do it their way. Like that looks really, really good. Even though my clients were getting results from my way, from my mix of strategy, mindset, and energy work, I started doubting that it was enough. And what's interesting is that whenever I turned off the noise, when I stopped the comparison, when I stopped researching and just served, I'd move forward with so much more ease. My creativity started to flow again and my results would expand. And of course, my community grew too. But then, as soon as I slipped back into watching others too closely, everything slowed down again. Maybe you can relate to that. It's like your forward momentum gets hijacked by someone else's highlight reel. So what helped me shift wasn't just one moment in time, it was a gradual remembering. I started leaning into my community, people in different industries, different business models. Some of them had been doing their work for decades, others were very new, but they all had one thing in common. They were committed to doing business their way. It was their stories that actually brought me back to center. They reminded me that no matter how many people do what you do, no one can do it in the way that you do it. Your energy, your story, your lived experience, your voice, that is the true differentiator. And I realized something that I still share with clients today. Your clients aren't their clients. The people who are meant for you will resonate most with you. And once that landed, I mean, I can feel it right now. My shoulders dropped. I exhaled, and little by little the joy came back. I saw the same transformation happen with one of my clients. I've seen it on a number of occasions, but I'll share one story right now. This was a performer who'd built a beautiful in-person career in the arts, on stages, in acting. She wanted to add an online branch to her business because everyone around her was talking about scalability in digital courses. And she convinced herself that she needed to teach online to be relevant. She'd spent months building offers that really didn't light her up. She was scripting videos that felt forced and trying to replicate what was trending. But no matter how hard she worked, it wasn't clicking. And when we talked, I asked her where she felt most alive. And without hesitating, she said, in the room, on stage, live with people. So we designed a plan that honored that. She went back to hosting live events, creating small intimate workshops. And within weeks, her energy shifted, her bookings filled, and her joy returned. And here's the beautiful part. Because she was so lit up, people began asking her for digital access. So then she was able to build her online content after the demand actually appeared. And it was from her clients. So she felt like she was serving them because she was giving them exactly what they wanted. She didn't have to guess anymore. It all became effortless because it was rooted in her true rhythm, not someone else's formula. And that's the essence of dissolving comparison overload, returning to your own pace and rhythm. So let's talk about how to actually move through this when it shows up. Because comparison isn't something you conquer once and never feel again. Trust me, this is gonna be a lifelong thing. We just need to make friends with it. It's something, though, that you can learn to catch early. And the best way I know to do that is through the seasons self-care cycle. It's very simple, but it works because it brings you back into your body and your body will tell you the truth. So the first step is to pause and give yourself some presence. So the moment you feel that familiar constriction, maybe your chest tightens or your breath shortens. Perhaps your mind races with thoughts like, I'm so behind. I invite you to just pause. Don't add a strategy on top of it. Just notice it. Step two is ground and breathe. Get into your body, feel your feet on the floor, take two or three slow breaths. Look away from the screen if you need to, put the screen down. Sometimes I literally will go outside and just stand barefoot on the grass. And step three is re-anchor to your vision. Ask yourself, what was I creating before I looked outside myself? Often comparison strikes when you've lost sight of your original vision, the one that came from inside, not from your feed. And then finally, step four, move gently forward. So take one small action that is aligned with your truth, not to prove anything, but to reestablish self-trust. And that might mean writing one paragraph, messaging one client, or simply closing your laptop and resting. Your nervous system is your edge. It's not your competitor's feed that is the edge. The more regulated you are, the more creative, magnetic, and strategic you actually become. And if you think about it, every single thing that you want in your business, revenue, reach, reputation, flows more easily when you are really feeling safe to expand. So breathe that one in. Take some time to just really think about that and anchor into it. And when you do, ask yourself a few questions. Where in my business am I comparing instead of creating? Where am I holding back because I think I should look a certain way? What truth am I avoiding when I scroll? And what would trusting my own pace look like this week? Remember, everyone doubts themselves. It's being human. That's just what we do. The people that you admire online, they have felt the same fear, the same questioning. The only difference is that they move forward anyway. Comparison can actually be an invitation to expand your self-trust. So when you see someone doing something extraordinary, instead of thinking, I should be doing that, ask what part of me wants to come alive in that same way. Let their courage activate your own courage instead of diminishing it. Self-trust isn't something that you find, it's something you build by taking aligned steps, even when it's uncomfortable. So here's what I've found. Comparison usually shows up right before a new season of growth. And it's actually a signal that your next vision is forming. But often that vision can be fuzzy at first. So when you don't have clarity, your mind reaches outward to fill that gap. And that is where the vision map comes in. The vision map that I've created helps you turn off the noise and tune back into what you truly want. It's like a compass, it draws the truth out of you and then it lays out the steps that will move you forward. Inside the vision map, you'll find simple prompts that put your ideas, your desires, and your next steps into focus. And it's not about copying anyone's path. It's actually about uncovering yours. When you map your vision this way, you strengthen your self-trust muscle because you no longer are outsourcing your direction. You're owning it. So if you've been feeling that comparison tension, I invite you to explore the vision map. You'll find the link in the show notes or inside the Seasons Success app. Give yourself the gift of clarity. And so I invite you to, again, go away, take some deep breaths, think about this, and just repeat this to yourself. My pace is perfect. My vision is unfolding in divine timing. My nervous system is my edge, not my competitors' feed. You don't have to rush. You don't have to prove. You just have to keep coming back home to what's true for you. Thank you so much for being here, for listening, and for doing this inner work. This is the stuff that makes all the outer results possible. And if this episode resonated, share it with a friend who's building her next season of success. And if you feel called, explore the vision map. It's the perfect next step to help you recalibrate to your own rhythm. Until next time, keep choosing what truly lights you up. And I'll see you then.