CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast

Unhooking from Unhealthy Money Patterns and Rewriting Your Story for Abundance | EP 459

• Sheila Botelho

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When you think about money, wealth, and power, what emotions or memories come up? For many of us, our beliefs around money were shaped long ago, often influenced by the environments we grew up in and the behaviors we witnessed. In this episode, I unpack how these early experiences influence our actions and decisions, and why it’s so important to pause and question what we believe to be true.


I’ll share personal insights about rewriting my own money story—from growing up in a household with financial instability to redefining what wealth means to me today. Along the way, I’ve learned to focus on gratitude, not just for what I have but for the opportunities I can create. Gratitude isn’t just a feel-good practice—it’s a gateway to abundance and a mindset shift that can transform your relationship with money.


This episode also touches on a powerful truth: money is a resource, not an emotion. It takes on the meaning we give it, and when used with intention, it becomes a force for good. Whether you’re working to heal your money story, dreaming of building a business, or simply looking for ways to grow, this episode will inspire you to see wealth as a tool to make the impact you’re meant to have in the world.


PS: Thanks so much for listening. I would love your review! If you enjoy what I share in this episode, rate, Review & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/connect-with-sheila-botelho/id1527363160 I would really appreciate it. Thanks!




Sheila:

In my many conversations with clients about launching things out into the world, about reaching more people, making more money, there's often a cap and I would say this about all of us there's a cap on what we believe is possible, and everybody's cap is at a different level. And why is that? I think it's often because of the beliefs that we hold, and even the things that we hold in our bodies, surrounding what we've witnessed around people who have wealth and power. Hi, welcome to the Connect with Sheila Botelho podcast. I'm an entrepreneur, self-care strategist and creator of the Seasons Self-Care app. I'm committed to helping you reconnect to your purpose, elevate your wellbeing and build your version of a happy, successful life. And on today's solo chat, I have some thoughts that I want to dive into around money, money mindset, our beliefs around money and see where this lands with you. This is going to be a bit of an exploratory conversation where we're diving into some different ideas and thoughts around why we believe what we believe when it comes to money, wealth, power. We learn so much by what we witness around us in our lives. We learn through doing as well, of course, but so many of our beliefs can very easily just be shaped from our very young lives, from what we witnessed, from what the people that were experiencing different things in our lives at the time we were little were going through. We absorbed a lot of information from a young age, and so that's why I feel it's so incredibly important for us to continually question our beliefs and really ask ourselves are these my beliefs? Are these someone else's beliefs? And I say continually not meaning like every single moment of the day, but on an ongoing trajectory. I think is so important because, especially now, in this time where we have so much information flowing through us and to us every single day, every moment of the day, sometimes we can forget what is our own North Star, what do we truly believe? What is ours, what is someone else's? And I do believe we are able to shift our belief systems around different things. We are able to shift what we believe we're capable of, and we also are able to shift how we feel about the different people in our midst. We can become more compassionate, we can become more open to differences, and I think that's incredibly valuable, because our world is made up with so many different nuances, different cultures, different experiences and expressions, and that is what makes it so beautiful.

Sheila:

The reason why I want to have this conversation right now is, if you've been following along, you may know that I was away over the holidays in Southern California visiting my godmother and then staying there with my loves while she had to do a little traveling, and it was really a beautiful time for us to actually be away in the weather that was a lot more enjoyable than maybe I had been used to over the years in the snow. I know for some people Christmas means snow, but many of my friends don't live in snowy places, so for me it was the first time I was away and it was really special for us and it was a really restorative time as well, and so, of course, we flew out to come home out of LAX. We flew out to come home out of LAX and, lo and behold, a week later, everywhere around the news was showing the devastation from the forest fires in that region that were just taking over, and of course, it really hit home because we had just been there. And also, I think there's something about certain cities around the world that really strike us as poignant places, right, new York City, miami, Toronto, vancouver I'm talking about North America, but LA is one of those places, and, of course, there's always things happening around the world at any given time, but you may think of different places that are poignant, like Paris and London and all of those kinds of things, and so, having just been there and also knowing how iconic that particular region is, it really sparked a lot of conversation for a lot of people, and for me, it was just this whole idea of imagining how would I feel if this home that I had built for my loves all of a sudden was no longer there and if our lives were in danger and if our pets, our loved ones, were in danger. It really helps you take a step back and think, wow, like let's think with gratitude for all that we do have right now our wellbeing, our health, like that's everything right.

Sheila:

And it also opened other conversations that I heard amongst other people. They were not conversations I was really a part of, but it got me thinking. Times like this really trigger a lot for people, and the one thing I wasn't expecting it to trigger was people's ideas about wealth, people's ideas about influence, about what worthiness involved for them, certainly when we think about the areas, that many of the areas that were impacted, or at least the ones that were getting the most FaceTime on the news, were in an area that is known to be like have a lot of generational wealth and a lot of wealth period, because, like coastal, obviously it's going to be more expensive to live there, and we think about the taxes in California, all that kind of stuff. Now, I'm not super well-versed on all of this. However, one thing that I can speak to is the conversations that came up around wealth that spun off in other directions that had nothing to do with actually what was going on, and this is what made me really think about our own belief systems and where they come from. And I heard people saying things like oh well, that's a wealthy area, they'll be fine, they'll figure it out, they'll just rebuild.

Sheila:

And I thought well, that felt to me kind of disconnected, because I felt like these are human beings who have built a life somewhere and were taken by surprise by something so incredibly devastating. I mean, if any of us put ourselves in that situation, we would all be feeling really distraught, I'm sure. And then also just the idea that, like just saying, this one particular area is just filled with this one type of person, when really we know that's not true. There are people who live all around the world and in different areas, beautiful areas, and they are not all in one socioeconomic bracket. But again, it went deeper than that, because then people started talking about you know those people with money and how did they get the money? And thoughts around even like, well, did they come by this money? Honestly, I don't know A lot of rich people don't really and it started to be like a lot of generalizations coming out in these conversations. So this is what spawned this episode because I wanted to speak to this the idea about the origins of our own money stories and knowing that these beliefs influence our actions and they influence what we believe is possible for ourselves.

Sheila:

In my many conversations with clients about launching things out into the world, about, you know, reaching more people, making more money, there's often a cap and I would say this about all of us there's a cap on what we believe is possible, and everybody's cap is at a different level. And why is that? And I think it's often because of the beliefs that we hold and even the things that we hold in our bodies surrounding what we've witnessed around people who have wealth and power. Because what is also true is there are some people in power who maybe are not good stewards of it and maybe they have not done the honest thing with the money or to get the money, and so, yes, both things can be true.

Sheila:

But I have always said that I believe it's so valuable and powerful to have more money in the hands of good-hearted people who want to really do beautiful things of service in the world. And in order for that to happen, we have to really look at our own money stories, right? So some of these things I was saying earlier, what comes up for you when you think about those things, when you think about the haves and the have-nots and all of these kinds of things? Because when I think of people who have a lot of money, who have built something, who've created a business, who have, in doing so, created basically their own economy of building a company that then employs people, who then those people go on and they take care of their families and they become consumers to boost the economy, and it's like all interconnected, right, and so without business owners, we don't have businesses. Without businesses, we don't have jobs that are fueling the economy. And there's levels to everything, of course, but I think it's very interesting when we look at the entrepreneurial journey for instance.

Sheila:

This is something a conversation I've had recently with some clients also is some people who maybe have never built a business before and then they decide they want to start one and they realize it looks a lot like really hard work because there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes that they just don't know about. When they're working for someone else, they know what their role is, but they don't see the whole behind the scenes makeup of what really is involved in being a business owner, and it often means taking on a lot of risk, trying a lot of things, failing at a bunch of things, to know what works. It's never a straight line to success. And so when I think about that, the people who've stepped out and stepped up to do something big, who are making a lot of money, stepped out and stepped up to do something big, who are making a lot of money They've built their self-trust, they've grown in so many ways to be able to do that and they've basically been willing to fail and fail publicly, you know, to go out and say I'm doing this thing and everybody thinks I'm crazy and no, maybe it didn't work, but they kept going, and we think about these people and, like them or not, these titans of industry in recent times when you think about big brands that are out there like that, say, have been started in the last 10, 15 years, and they're very large companies. Often they look very different now than what they were intended to look like when they began, because, as they started growing, they started shifting and pivoting, shifting and pivoting.

Sheila:

And so entrepreneurialism, business it's not for everyone, however, money is. If we want to live on this time, continuum here, and we want to buy clothing and food and shelter, we need money to do that, and money is such a beautiful tool, and so I wanted to just share a couple of more things about how I feel about money and some things that helped me kind of get cozy with talking about the power of what money can do for us, because when we do that, it makes us more comfortable to be able to go out and actually get more of it, generate more of it to do even more good in the world. Because one thing is for sure for those people right now who, whatever the calamity is that they're facing, the one thing that can help them if they are without food, shelter, water. Whatever the case, is money right? Money pays for those things and the people to be able to help deliver those things, and so I'm just so passionate about helping people really heal their relationship with money so that they can actually be good stewards of what they have at all different levels. Right Like we're all meant for something different.

Sheila:

Our desires guide us, but I believe that when we have a more rooted relationship with the financial realm, I think it makes everything a lot more easeful in our life, and so we've talked about inherited money beliefs. These are things. Maybe we witnessed something as a child, something that our uncle or parents said or did or saw, or maybe the way they managed or mismanaged money. That impacts how we feel about it For a long time just total transparency. For a long time, I wondered about my own ability to earn really good money, because growing up we didn't have a whole lot, and then my father came into some money and then he didn't manage it very well, and you may also know if you've been following along, my father also had mental health challenges, so the two kind of played with each other, and so you start to take on different traits or habits of the people that you really look up to when you're young and maybe you even start to believe well, this must be the path for me. So it takes conscious effort to actually say actually, no, I'm going to choose a different path.

Sheila:

And so, for myself, I've spent a lot of time rewriting my own money story and teaching myself different things about it and learning and spending time with so many incredibly beautiful people who are very wealthy, who are also very wealthy and generous, and learning well, how do they build their businesses, how do they grow their dream and bring it into reality, and how does money flow? What are the different ways this all works? And it's really been restorative for me, and it's been many years, and now it's something I say I feel so comfortable with, and I realize we're all going to have different starting points. We're all going to have different headwinds that we face in life as well. As a woman, as a white woman in Canada, I understand I have definitely a level of privilege that is different than others, and even in spite of my humble beginnings right, my humble beginnings are still probably many steps forward than others, so there's so many things here. However, the beautiful thing is we get to shift how we feel about it, how we believe about it, and that, in turn, empowers our actions.

Sheila:

The next thing I want to talk about is gratitude and abundance. The thing that I have found to be most transformative for me in looking at money and expanding in that area is to start with gratitude for what I have already. And I look at abundance. If you followed my 40 day abundance meditation series that I was doing live here, uh, at the end of the summer, that is now available on my app. If you you want to learn about that, you can find more about that in the show notes.

Sheila:

Um, I actually went through a whole process of looking at the abundance in our life, our wellbeing, our relationships, our abilities, our talents and, yeah, money, as well as our ability to generate money, because I believe ideas can generate money. That's really every business in the whole world that's ever been invented has started with an idea, and so your ideas, your abilities, you can generate income from that. But it all starts with really being grateful for what you have right now and grateful for the ideas and grateful for the opportunities and grateful for the time of life that we have here, and it may feel easier said than done, especially if you're in a place right now where you are struggling, whether it's with your physical life or your finances or your relationships. It can be hard to kind of move through that, but there's always something that we can find gratitude for, even if it's just something that makes us smile or something we see that is beautiful in our midst. It's a beginning, and when it becomes a practice, what you focus on grows, and when you focus on gratitude, you start to see things to be more grateful for. It's something that is a practice I've been doing over the years. It's uncanny what happens when you really focus on that and you start spending time with other people who live with gratitude so that there's more opportunity. It really is a snowball effect. Live with gratitude so that there's more opportunity it really is a snowball effect.

Sheila:

And I just really think it's so important also to always be questioning negative assumptions around wealth and power, because again, we have a history to look back on in our world and I'm telling you wealth and power. There's a lot of things to really look at there and a lot of challenges that have flowed from that. However, wealth can actually fuel a lot of good things, and there can be good people in power too, and by that I mean people leading businesses and guess what? You are leading your life and you have a semblance of power as well. So shifting that narrative is very important and looking for those models in our life who actually are doing great things with what they've been given. I'm sure you can think about those people, those mentors in your life, those people that maybe are mentors from afar, whether it's even an artist or a musician or an actor or some political person who's actually doing some really good in the world. Those people exist, right. We need to look for them. But there are people, activists, who are giving everything, and those things are fueled by financial resources. Like thinking about the good that Mother Teresa did she didn't do that out of an empty cup. There were people that were helping her to actually deliver, money was involved, right, and she did such beautiful work and there's so many other examples. So look to the ones that really mean the most to you and that will help you to shift your belief systems about wealth and power.

Sheila:

I also want to talk about the future generations. I think about my own money stories and how it was very easy for me to just bring them into when I was raising my kids, and then also even into client work. Early on, I would start to limit what was possible for the people, based on what I believed I wouldn't present certain sales opportunities because I thought, well, yeah, that's probably going to be too much for them. But I didn't know, that may have been my limit, but their limit maybe they didn't have a limit like mine. And so, in the same way, raising my kids, I wanted to make sure that what they were seeing from me was really consistent with growth, with questioning narratives and with openness to endless possibilities. And it did start with gratitude as well. So having that gratitude practice with my kids has been amazing and really it was a prayer practice, even something as simple as sitting down before eating a meal and asking for a blessing on the food and being grateful for the hands that prepared it, being grateful for those things that we have. It is the beginning point.

Sheila:

And knowing that these kiddos are watching everything and we can say, oh, you can do everything, you can be so successful and you can have anything you want. And then they start questioning well, why aren't you going for your dream? Why do you have these little things you say about money? Oh, that's too expensive, that's not enough, we don't have enough, that's stupid, expensive, right, like? What are some of the things that you say just automatically without thinking about it. And our kids are picking them up, so start thinking about that. How do we shift it? So some of the things I would say to them are there's more than enough. There's more than enough. We may not see it right in this moment, but it exists.

Sheila:

And also letting them see that, hey, if someone else is living this life that they love and they have access to whatever it is that they have access to, it's possible for you also. That lifestyle, someone's living that dream that they have, that they're going after if they can do it, of course, you can do it. What is the dream on your heart? That's very much at the heart of this podcast actually is knowing that whatever that dream is that is on your heart keeps tapping you on the shoulder. It's for you, so don't give up on it. Take steps towards it, get in a community of people who are going after their dreams and get the support.

Sheila:

And I would say the same thing exists around our money If we see other people living a beautiful lifestyle and they're doing it from a good heart and they're helping people and they're enjoying themselves. I mean, really, the sky is the limit. We do not need to put a limit on our desires. Abundance is limitless because money can be a force for good. It really is just a resource and when you think about it, money is not emotional, it's not good or bad. And when you think about it, money is not emotional, it's not good or bad. Money is used by humans who create meaning around it and we use it for things that are of whatever meaning that we give it. So when we go out and we live our lives, every single thing we do, every purchase we make, it's like a prayer. I forget who said that, actually, but every purchase, like our money, can be like a prayer and when we consider that, it really shifts how we invest our time to earn the money and how we actually make the money.

Sheila:

So those are just a few thoughts I had around this, because the conversations that were coming up recently around people with money and certainly it all was fueled by some devastating times for people in California and again, I know there's stuff happening around the world all the time and, if anything, it just makes me realize how important it is, because we just never know what is coming each day. It's so important that we are living our dream and that we are taking off the limits to what we believe is possible. And we're living now because this is what we have. We have it right now and part of it also is, I believe, really getting rid of the judgments. I really believe that if we all just invested our time working on those areas in our life that we really wanted to improve, we would not have time to judge others, and if we were all doing that, we would be much more eager to celebrate each other for the work we're putting in, and I hope that's what you feel here in this community of listeners and in my seasons community and in my coaching programs.

Sheila:

It's about celebration of deciding that you want to make a shift, you want to do something different, you want to make that impact that you believe you were born here to make, and I'm going to celebrate that every day of the week and I'm going to celebrate your success. I'm going to celebrate your wealth, your prosperity, all the goodness, because I really believe, once again, when you are given these beautiful blessings and you have a good heart, you're going to make such a beautiful impact on the world. So those are my thoughts. I'd love to hear what landed for you, what was triggering to you about this conversation, what came up and then, what are you willing to let go of and to maybe love on in your own beliefs about money, wealth and power? I would love to hear.

Sheila:

Feel free to message me in the show notes and, of course, there are a few different ways that you can work with me. You'll see in there. But the first thing I really recommend is checking out the embodied success method, because it helps you identify what is success to you. How can it look and how do you get started mapping out a plan for you to start attaining that, because all of our dreams and our goals can live in our brain, but until we actually sit down and get focused on creating the plan to make that happen and getting it on the calendar, nothing's going to change, and I believe this year can be very, very pivotal for you. So check that out in the show notes. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day. Thank you for listening and I look forward to seeing you in another episode. Big blessings, thank you.