CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast

427 The Hidden Gift in Comparison and How to Use It for Growth | Ep 427

• Sheila Botelho

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In this episode, we’re flipping the script on comparison. That feeling you get when you see someone living the life you desire isn’t envy—it’s a sign that you’re ready for more. Join me as I dive into how you can use comparison to fuel your growth, rather than let it hold you back. Here’s what we’ll cover:


  • Why comparison is actually a positive indicator of your desires.
  • How celebrating others' success can open up possibilities for your own.
  • Practical steps to turn your desires into reality with intention and support.


Ready to embrace your next level? Let’s get into it!

Let’s Connect!



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Sheila:

That feeling inside of you that comes up when you see someone experiencing a type of lifestyle. It is an indication that you want something more or something different. And guess what? You get to have it. There are steps to take in order to get it, yes, but you get to have it.

Sheila:

Hi, welcome to the Connect with Sheila Botelho podcast. I'm an entrepreneur, self-care strategist and creator of the Seasons Self-Care app. I'm committed to helping you reconnect to your purpose, elevate your well-being and live your version of a happy, successful life. You're listening to a Monday Minisode where I share an insight designed to help you live into what lights you up this week. Today, we're talking about comparison. Have you ever found yourself going for it in your work or in your wellness or in your relationships, and feeling really great about the direction you're taking, and then, all of a sudden, as though you hear like a record scratch from back in the day, you see someone else doing something incredible and experiencing something incredible and you start to have that feeling of like, wah, wah, like, maybe what you've been thinking you're so excited about is nothing in comparison to those people. We've all been there. I want to invite you into an idea as you look at those things that happen to you. When the next time you find yourself in a situation where you're comparing and you're getting that feeling inside of yourself like, oh wouldn't it be great if that's what I had. Look at that as a good thing. Look at that as your desire to want to grow and be your best self. This is the first part of the equation. So the first part of the equation is to look at that as an indicator that this is something you want for yourself. Next, look at this also as proof that someone else is doing it, so you can too. That's the first part of this equation. The second part I want to invite you into is celebrate, celebrate for this other person because of what I just said. They're able to do that thing, they're able to experience it said they're able to do that thing. They're able to experience it when you witness someone else experiencing something incredible.

Sheila:

Society typically has us programmed to think that if we have that feeling inside of us, it's jealousy and it's bad, it's evil. Or we have been programmed to see other people having success and be like, oh well, and starting to look at the things that maybe aren't good about that person and why do they deserve that and I deserve it. How come they have it? This is really something that we learn from being children and often many adults never grow out of it. So I invite all of us to kind of do a little audit when is some of that still lingering inside of us? And instead turn it into celebration, celebration that that person is being able to achieve the thing and experience the thing that they most desire. And you know what? We don't see what goes on in the background. We don't see what it took for them to get to that place. Society would also historically have us starting to look for maybe shortcuts they took and maybe shortcuts are a bad thing, and this is something in our mind, in our programming and starting to look for maybe dark, shady things that took place in order for them to get that good thing. But you know what?

Sheila:

I've talked to a lot of people about their story of what got them to where they were, to this beautiful life that they have. It's often a very windy, twisty road. It's often a dark road. It's often a lonely road, because these individuals living incredible lives and experiences have either come from a place where they truly need this change. It's almost like a life or death situation for them to make this change in their life, because they've experienced something so dramatic in their life that they've wanted to work really hard to have a different life. That's often a story. Another story is maybe they've had an average kind of experience in their life and they've just wanted to try something new. They've had an idea. No one's done this thing before in their family, in their community, and they just know that it's something that is meant for them to do and no one around them understands. That can be a very well. It is a very lonely road and that's why celebrating those people who do those remarkable things and are experiencing those remarkable lives, the things that get you inspired and maybe make you feel that little sense of what you may feel as envy, but I like to look at that as desire, like to look at that as desire. You desire that outcome. And next I want to ask you this question, and it's something you can ask yourself what did they need to do to achieve that outcome? Number one am I willing to learn what those steps are? And number two once I know what those steps are, am I willing to do the things that they did or something similar in terms of the intention and the effort and the time to get that outcome.

Sheila:

Sometimes, when we go down that path of okay, what does it really look like, we may realize you know what it's too high a price Like. I value my personal time, I don't want to work on weekends, I want to be understood by everyone around me, I don't want to be judged, I just want to be comfortable. And if that's the case, that's okay. You get to make that choice. But don't count yourself out from having that outcome and that experience and that lifestyle before you look at what it took to get there and to see truly if it's something that you want for yourself. Because I want to invite you into this idea, that feeling inside of you that comes up when you see someone experiencing a type of lifestyle. It is an indication that you want something more or something different. And guess what you get to have it? There are steps to take in order to get it. Yes, what you get to have it. There are steps to take in order to get it. Yes, but you get to have it. And so, instead of counting yourself out before you really count the cost, think about how could you achieve that thing, get the support you need, be supported in the process to achieve the thing you want. And what if you got to do it with one other person or a group of other people who were there also chasing their own dreams and who are cheering you on?

Sheila:

This is something I've been so grateful to have in my life, as I've done different things, tried different things. Some things have worked beautifully. Some things haven't worked. I have to say, not all of my ideas have worked out. Imagine that. How about you? But I have had the people surrounding me to support me in this experience, to be there to just cheer me on, to be a listening ear when maybe things haven't gone my way, to noodle around ideas, to get clarity and to really just remind me that it's great. It's great that I have this idea that I want to chase. We need people like that in our life, so make sure you surround yourself with those people. So comparison is not a bad thing. It's only a bad thing if we're trying to destroy that other person in the comparison game or we're destroying ourselves by thinking, oh, compared to them, I'm just so terrible and my life isn't good and I can't have anything like that. How could I ever achieve that? We throw that out the window. Okay, let's start fresh today.

Sheila:

I've talked recently about how we talk to ourselves and why that's so important. Let's start shifting that and let's let's start it when we look at other people and see where these desires are. Who's living the lives similar to what we'd like? You know you get to make it your own, and maybe there's those people who are living lives that you can never imagine and, frankly, it's not something for you. I invite you to adopt this beautiful saying that I have a few friends who love to say, and that is I love that for them. You see them living this life. It's really nothing that you would love to do, but they seem so lit up. Embody this feeling of I love that for them. They are lit up, they are living their best life. Go them. How awesome.

Sheila:

When we celebrate other people and their lives and what they're doing, even if it's not the thing we want to personally be doing, something shifts inside of us, and then we get to celebrate the things that we truly want as well, and I feel like that energy opens you up to creativity to find out what the next steps for you are, so I leave that with you this week. Have a look at what comparison looks like in your life. Let it support you instead of drag you down. Thank you so much for listening.

Sheila:

If you're wanting to be in a community of people who are chasing their dreams who may be those ones in their family or community who've never done this thing before and they seem like they're always off creating something or traveling somewhere and no one really understands why are they always working on their soul business, like what is this thing Then? Stay tuned, my mastermind is opening up in the new year. There's ways for you to get on the wait list in the show notes, as well as other beautiful ways for us to work together in a community of like-minded people like-minded in the sense of let's go chase our dreams, let's go be lit up about our lives and let's shine a light on all of the people around us as we do. Thanks for listening. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your week. Big blessings, thank you.