CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast

My Journey To Purpose Through Loss - Episode 416

• Sheila Botelho

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What if the fears that hold you back are the very keys to unlocking your greatest achievements? 


In this solo chat, we explore how embracing self-doubt and societal pressures can lead you to discover your true purpose. Through personal stories and heartfelt reflections, we delve into the courage it takes to shine brightly in a world that often feels dark. 


I share my journey of finding strength through loss, and how it inspired me to live authentically and pursue my dreams. We also discuss how to find a nurturing space where you can bring your visions to life with the support of a like-minded community. This episode is a call to action for anyone ready to step into their light, live with purpose, and make a lasting impact.


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PS: Thanks so much for listening. I would love your review! If you enjoy what I share in this episode, rate, Review & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/connect-with-sheila-botelho/id1527363160 I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

Sheila:

My invitation for you is to really truly ask yourself what is it that you're afraid to stand out in in your life, in your work, in your business, in your new idea? Is it worthwhile for you to make the move? Hi, welcome to the Connect with Sheila Botel podcast. I'm an entrepreneur, self-care strategist and creator of the Seasons self-care app. I'm committed to helping you reconnect to your purpose, elevate your well-being and build your version of a happy, successful life, and on today's solo chat, we're talking about standing out. When you think about creating your version of a happy, successful life, does that include maybe stepping into a new area of your soul work? Does it maybe mean standing out? Will it take that from you and how does it feel when you think of that, that maybe people will be seeing your work and you'll be needing to be more visible? Does it feel comfortable for you, or is it something that you struggle with? Maybe there's certain areas of your life that you feel so powerful and professional at and you could speak days and days and days about a certain topic with confidence, being quite happy, just totally shining, and then maybe there's something else you want to share, there's another message that's coming through you and you feel some kind of something holding you back from wanting to actually do it, from being able to shine too brightly. Too brightly Isn't that interesting? This is something many of us experience, and I've personally experienced it in my life. I know I have a performance background, but getting to that point of being able to perform from a time of a young child and wanting to do it, moving past my preconceived ideas about who I am and what I deserved and how I should look and what will people think, it took a lot. It took training. It took people pouring encouragement into me. It took me practicing and practicing, practicing and getting myself out there. And then there were other areas of my life later on that I stepped into and I find, when I look back, there are so many places I've stepped into and put myself in uncomfortable situations because I wanted to grow. I don't know, I just couldn't help myself. And yet in each of those spaces, before I got there, the question came up oh, I don't know, you're kind of going to stick out like a sore thumb If you do that. Do you really want to put yourself in that situation? I guess yes, yes Is the answer, because I did, and there's still areas that I find myself looking at like, oh, what could I do, how could this work? And there is a feeling that I don't know if it will ever fully go away, where it's like a question mark inside of myself Really, you really want to do this, you really want to stand out in this way, and the what will people think? And all those kinds of things those kind of are much more dimly hanging out in the back of my mind. They're not completely gone, though. How about you? Are there things that you want to step into that you find yourself struggling to actually make the move because you have this notion of I don't know how will I be received, how will it be perceived, how will I look? You're in good company, we all go there.

Sheila:

I think the question becomes how important is it to you to do Number one and number two? How would you feel if you didn't do it? If you went your whole life? You almost have to go all the way to the end. We don't know when our ending is, but if we were to sit there at the ending and think, huh, if I didn't do this, how am I feeling right now?

Sheila:

This thing that's been on my heart to do. What if I don't ever do it? What if I let it go? What if I release it? How does it feel If it doesn't feel anything? Maybe it was someone else's idea, maybe it was just something you said you were going to do and well, because I've been talking about it, I should do it. But it's not something that's really really tuned into what you want. Hey, release it, you'll free up space to do something that you really really want to do. But if you felt that feeling of oh, like a gut punch, like oh, my goodness, if I didn't do this by the end of my life, I would feel like I really missed out. I would feel not good about myself and in the end, sometimes we want to make other people proud, but maybe we want to actually make ourselves proud. So that is a nice little test you can do for yourself, because I think sometimes we put off doing the scary thing because we feel like we have all the time in the world so we can put it off.

Sheila:

You know what Time is moving along? Our life is moving, with or without us, and our life is changing, even if we're not the ones instituting the change. There's so much happening in our world right now. We can get really get carried away, go down rabbit holes, maybe put ourselves in not a great mood if we really allow ourselves to think about it. But we can also look at the beauty that is happening in the world, the beauty that maybe gets hidden because there's so much noise about the darkness. So you know what? We need your light to shine brightly even more. Because of that. Let's start drowning out the darkness by shining our lights of that. Let's start drowning out the darkness by shining our lights, doing those things, stepping into those rooms, having those conversations, creating those offerings, meeting those people, creating that art that needs to be made in order to create more light in this world where it feels like it's just getting darker.

Sheila:

And I believe, I really believe, like from my spiritual sense, that you know, everything planted in our hearts was something that's been given to us from the beyond, from our creator. It's been planted there for a reason, like your dreams are different than my dreams, for a reason because you're the one who is meant to be bringing them to life and I'm the one who's meant to be bringing my dreams to life. We all have our unique personalities, our unique perspective and our unique life experiences that have qualified us for right now and for this next step. So what is it for you and are you going to? When you fast forward to the end, when we don't know when that is, are you going to be proud of yourself that you did the thing? I know I talk a lot these days about doing the thing and maybe it's that I think about my own self and my own mortality.

Sheila:

And we know, when we've experienced enough loss in our lives and seen people maybe taken out in their prime, knowing that every day counts, every moment counts. We don't need to be stressed about it, we don't need to be worried about it, but we can be passionate about taking steps into the areas that we feel really led to take, and we can start now. And it can seem like a mountain, it can seem like it's just so huge, but we can take one step. And if you listen to the mini-sode this week about resistance, you'll see how I've broken down something that's 40 days into a day-to-day step, and it's something that you can do with anything you're working on a project or a vision for your life, your wellbeing, a fitness regimen, eating well, having intimacy with your loved ones. Being able to really, really, really make a shift starts with one step. The first thing, it's a decision, the second thing, it's a commitment and the third thing it's taking action. And you can do it, and I'm here to encourage you in this way.

Sheila:

And if you feel that, you know, standing out is scary, you're not alone, and maybe it is. Maybe it is scary, but you know what Something that I love to carry with me. Well, there's a couple of little thoughts that help me when I think about this. Number one is you may be afraid to stand out because of what other people may think, but the people who have less than positive things to say about you, shining in your brilliance, are really people who are very, very afraid to shine themselves, so they'd rather put their energy. It's safer for them to put their energy into maybe saying less than positive things about someone else.

Sheila:

And those people who are in the arena, as Brene Brown likes to say is it Marcus Aurelius? She quoted, I forget, from her book Daring Bravely yeah, I think that was the name of her book. Anyway, she talks about being in the arena. So those people who are in the arena doing the thing that they were called to this earth to do and they're taking the uncomfortable action and they're taking those steps. They will be cheering you on, even if it's not something that maybe is resonant for them to be doing. They will not be telling you less than positive things, because they're doing it too, and so it's important to surround ourselves with those cheerleaders, with those way showers, with those path creators, as we are doing the same work and everyone else gets to feel how they want to feel, they get to say what they want to say, and we get to have compassion on them for any of the negative stuff they may say, because it's just coming from a place of fear, and we all have that fear in us. But I'm inviting us to step into a place of love and acting from that place instead.

Sheila:

Love is so powerful. Love helps you believe anything is possible. You know, love carried me through some really difficult times over a decade ago, and if you've listened to my story, if you've gone back to the beginning of my podcast, you'll hear I've had a number of really significant losses over the last decade. You may have too, and my heart is with you. We all experience it at some point, and I remember sitting at the bedside of my sister when she was in her last moments, literally having her last breaths, holding her, which I never imagined I would be doing for my older sister. I remember this visceral feeling rising up within me saying you know, this is your one life. It feels so real. Still I carry it with me as a reminder, and you know her story of such a very, very, very short diagnosis to cancer and passing.

Sheila:

It's something that you know really catapulted my work in the self-care space, but it was also something I didn't want to use as a magnifier for my work, as a talking point. You know cause? She's my sister, right, it was so important and yet it never leaves me. And so I talk about it sometimes because maybe there's someone for you who you're going through something like this with, and I'm sure it's telling you something about your own life, like the feeling in the end is I'm still here, you're still here, you have work to do.

Sheila:

What is that work? Is that work something that is just going to be mind numbing and every day where you're feeling stressed out and not actually taking steps? Or is this going to be your soul work, your calling that? You're making little, incremental steps over time, through and then sometimes giant leaps when you have the burst of energy and when you have the burst of inspiration and the encouragement and support of people around you. That's why I tell that story for you to really reconnect, to snap out of the numbness that life often sends us into, because it can be hard. And so my invitation for you is to really, truly ask yourself what is it that you're afraid to stand out in in your life, in your work, in your business, in your new idea? Is it worthwhile for you to make the move? That is my invitation for you.

Sheila:

If you've been listening, you'll know that I've got a beautiful incubator six-week experience happening that is starting middle of August. We're almost there, actually, and it's going to be a very small group. We're almost there, actually, and it's going to be a very small group, and this is a space where it's all about people coming together to encourage each other as they individually go about bringing their next dream, their next vision for their business, for their art, to life. And you have the opportunity to have a conversation about whether this is something you'd like to do. You can see the link in the show notes. You may have heard a preamble to this podcast talking about it as well, and you can tap the link that says shine to get more information.

Sheila:

And if you're wanting support, I have so many wonderful free offerings for you to be able to get yourself to the place where you can actually take that bold action and not be afraid to stand out because someone needs to hear what you have to say. You can join my email list. That's free. That comes out every Wednesday. Hear the stories of the people I'm working with and my own past stories and journeys and little insights and things that are so helpful to help you move forward. I have a lot of free offerings and if you're wanting to join something that is more curated, where I'm there, live with you.

Sheila:

That is a six week season to shine summer incubator. It's all there for you. It's wherever you feel comfy, and I'm so grateful that you listen to these episodes and I hope you'll listen to more and share them and feel inspired to make the moves in your life that you know you're meant to be making. Thank you for listening, truly, and I send you all of the love in the world as you are going out to live your big, beautiful one life. You are magic and you have so many beautiful things to experience and to share in this world. Thanks for listening. Have a beautiful rest of your day. Big blessings.