CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast

Achieving Your Goals With Less Pressure & Stress - Episode 394

• Sheila Botelho

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Going for your big, beautiful vision in life and business takes effort, and it can be done in a healthy way. On this solo chat, I share the ups and downs of ambitious pursuits in business, exploring both the exhilarating highs and the tough moments of doubt. 


We'll dive into the emotional landscape of striving for success and emphasize how community support can make a huge difference. We'll also discuss how self-care is crucial for achieving goals while finding balance and fulfillment. 


Listen for practical strategies and a sneak peek into the upcoming masterclass, where goals and self-care meet. Join me for a conversation about finding stillness and gaining powerful insights for your success journey.

Join me for this week’s Free Masterclass on Tuesday, May 14, 2024. Get details here and receive my Free Stress Less Map



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PS: Thanks so much for listening. I would love your review! If you enjoy what I share in this episode, rate, Review & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/connect-with-sheila-botelho/id1527363160 I would really appreciate it. Thanks!



Sheila:

Be open to. How can we collaborate to make it bigger, or how can we rest and lean into our community to help us move through this vision that we've created, feeling more supported and not trying to go it alone? Ambitious women, I am here to talk to you about achieving your goals with less pressure and stress. Is that something that you even feel is possible? I only wanted to address this because it's something for years that I have personally struggled with, and so I thought bringing some light to it and actually being able to discuss this and maybe get some comments happening about what is achievement look like to you.

Sheila:

How do you feel when you're going about your big, bold business dreams, bringing them to reality? Is it fun? Is it super amount of pressure? Is it a time where you find that you have all the ideas in the world and it's hard for you to find one to stick with because you feel like you're repeating yourself over and over? And it's hard for you to find one to stick with because you feel like you're repeating yourself over and over and maybe you're not moving to the next level? Maybe you've got a lot of success in one realm of your life and you're wanting to extend past that. What does that look like? How does that feel?

Sheila:

These are some of the conversations we're going to be having with some guests on my show over the coming weeks and months, because it's something I don't believe we really talk enough about. I think we talk about the shiny stories of success and then sometimes looking back over what got people there, which is really, really great, but while people are actually in it, it's hard to hear all of the steps, because typically we like to teach from a place of when we've achieved something. So I would love to know where you're at in your next iteration of your goals, of your vision. How's it feeling for you? Do you have days that are like woo, mountaintop days, where you feel like everything is possible, everything's clicking, and then do you have days where you feel like you want to burn it all to the ground? These are conversations I have with clients and colleagues in various industries alike. It's not new. It's something that everyone faces. So if you are having a day where you see this vision before you and you really want to take those steps and you really want to start seeing progress and seeing results and it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough, I just want you to know you're in good company. The people who are connected with us in this community and on the Seasons app and listeners of the Connect with Sheila Botelho podcast also have these similar types of days, and if you don't, then maybe you're not challenging yourself enough, right? I mean, every now and then we're going to have days like that.

Sheila:

So I wanted to talk about what is a more useful way to approach the next steps of your vision, and the way I want to do that is by telling you, of course, a story or a series of stories. I'm kind of becoming known for my series of stories, literally in my Instagram stories. They've gotten a lot of attention Lately. I had the bamboo story that I was sharing before, and then I had another story I shared last week. It's just so interesting when I think back to the connecting of the dots of all of the events that have brought me to where I am in my life, and then now seeing yet another further distant vision for myself. And how do I want to go about it? I've gone about approaching goals in a variety of ways, and often I've defaulted in the past to the stress and pressure model of just push, push, push, go in all of the places that you can go to share this message and work all the hours Like I've done that over the years. And what really brought about this idea of the self-care strategy that now I guide women in and I've modeled myself in how I build my business, is something that I'm leaning more into every day. It is growing and shifting and changing in beautiful ways as I implement it myself and as I'm seeing feedback from people who are following this model.

Sheila:

If you don't already know me, I'm Sheila Botelho. I am a self-care strategist. I am creator of the season self-care app and the upcoming seasons self-care for business program and this season's collective membership. I also am host of the connect with Sheila Botelho podcast and I'm so interested in helping ambitious women like yourself reconnect to their purpose, get healthy, build the business in a healthy way and build your version of a happy, successful life. You get to choose what success looks like to you. That's the place we're going to begin today. You get to choose, and the story is all about having our vision and then being open to having it present itself to us, to be present and kind of land for us as we go, maybe packaged differently than we expected and possibly even better.

Sheila:

So the story begins with me wanting to have a particular lineup of guests on my podcast talking about different things over the coming months, and everything leading into the depth of this season's self-care strategy the depth of this season's self-care strategy and in doing it, I wasn't quite sure exactly what the topic would be, how it would all come together, but I was thinking about it and, as what happens very often for many of us who are creative entrepreneurs, we've got many ideas floating around it all the time, and so what we need to then do is actually take those ideas and put them into some kind of structure so we're actually stepping in and taking action on it, instead of just keeping it up here. Well, what was happening for me, as I'm sure may happen for you sometimes is like oh, that's a great idea, I'll have to get to that. And then I was busy serving clients and doing the things that I had laid out before me, that were already on my calendar, and seeing some open spaces in the calendar, realizing, realizing, oh, I really need to put some feet to this idea and really dial in on what it is. And I wasn't doing it. And I wasn't doing it. And then I had some other distractions, some beautiful distractions, but distractions nonetheless. And so finally, one night recently, I sat down and said, okay, let's just do the simplest, easiest piece of this and it'll take me 15 minutes 20 minutes tops and I'm just going to do only that and be done with it. And that simple thing was really just setting up my calendar with some nice little reminder emails and invitation emails and thank you emails, all the little flows that we have, the workflows that we have for any of our automated calendar bookings. And as I was doing that, ideas were coming, of course, as to Ooh, how can we make this better? How can we make this more enjoyable? How could we make this a gift to the person who's joining me? And so I set it all up and I was very happy that it was done. And then immediately I didn't wait I immediately sent out invites to the people who had been on my mind initially to come and join me on this Instagram live conversation series.

Sheila:

I did one last summer. That was really fun. It wasn't on one particular topic, although of course, it was focused on self-care. You know the people who are coming in and speaking, the experts, like what self-care is lighting them up and what's one lesson that they're really learning in this season of their life which we can't get enough of. That right, this stuff is fuel for us entrepreneurs and people who are leading movements and have big visions for their life and their family, and so that worked beautifully.

Sheila:

I knew I wanted to do it again, and so I decided this other one. And again I was like, oh, I just got to set up the systems to so I can actually start inviting people because summer's coming quickly, right? And so I ended up getting that set, and when I was finished I thought, ooh, I still have some juice left in me. It was the evening, so normally I'm like, okay, let's just wind right down, because if I get myself too wound up, then I end up staying up later and then I get to bed later and then I'm more tired in the morning because I still always wake up at the same time. I don't know about you. It's always like, oh hello, it doesn't matter how much sleep I get, those birds are out, I'm up and being beckoned out into the beautiful grass or onto a lovely walk. And so I know I did listen to that still small voice that was saying okay, there's one other thing, and what was downloaded to me once I actually took that step was the structure of a master class I'm putting together for you next week.

Sheila:

I knew I was having the master class, I knew what it was going to be somewhat about, but I didn't have a title. I didn't have a really specific focus until that night recently and it came to me and I thought, ooh, this is really powerful. So I planned it all out, put it on my calendar and you'll be hearing details about it soon as well. And actually, if you want details, just comment masterclass in the comments. I'll make sure I get details for you. It's going to be next Tuesday, but that's all I'll say for now, because I'm just ironing out a few calendar items for that and I want to make sure that I get you the details as needed.

Sheila:

So that happened, and then I had a beautiful sleep, woke up the next day, was serving clients and actually dipped into some emails that I wasn't really going to be tackling until later in the day. But something told me oh, just go in and see what's going on in there, and there was an email that I needed to reply to. I could have waited, but I felt, no, it's going to be the caring thing for me to do to reach out now, because I really felt like I wanted to address it and there were just some questions and some clarity some people needed on some things. So I was able to deal with that. But what was interesting was the tone of the email was sharing some specific things, but I somehow could feel beneath the service there was something more.

Sheila:

And in having conversations with this individual who's amazing and doing beautiful things, I know that they're also up leveling into a whole new version of their business. And what does that do to us? When we're successful in one arena and we're wanting to kind of pivot a little like just a tiny little bit, and we're changing our messaging a little bit, and then it could mean like it's going to be more people we're serving, maybe at a higher rate, so we're stepping into new uncharted territory were serving maybe at a higher rate, so we're stepping into new uncharted territory. And I think you know what the answer is. We can get a little afraid. We can get a little fearful Like what will this do to my business? How will I actually deliver this? Am I really capable of doing this thing? Am I going to deliver on what I say? And this was not explicitly said.

Sheila:

This is a conversation I have yet to have with them, but I knew, based on a previous experience, there was something to this that felt really familiar about our conversation, and so, as I was writing this email, I dealt with that. I realized that there is something about this up-leveling, which often means stepping into more money, more wealth, more you know, higher value clients, higher, higher paying clients, and so with that there comes sometimes some resistance. If you're charging more than you've ever charged or if you're receiving more than you've ever received from clients, it can do something to you when you're not used to it, and it really is just that safety feeling in yourself. Your amygdala is telling you Ooh, I don't know, this is different, this is scary. Because it's different, right.

Sheila:

And so I realized this is something that comes up a lot for so many people who I speak to, and it's come up for me personally. Like it felt familiar for a reason, because I felt it myself and maybe you have, and so I realized that is the specific topic I want to be discussing on this Instagram live conversation series, and that is, women, wealth and worthiness. They are so inextricably connected, and connected to not just who we are and what we've achieved, but also what we've witnessed others achieving or not achieving, or being available to achieve, or being worth in their mind to achieve, and perhaps things that have happened in our lineage in the past, and so these are some things I want to talk about with some of the people joining me. I'll be sharing some of my stories, and so what was beautiful and the message of today in? We have our vision and we have an idea for the achievement of that vision, the achievement of that goal. How's it going to come about? We're like, oh, we want to go to A to B and then B to C and then C to D, and we're all done, we got there. That's often not how goals are achieved Not always, anyway, maybe sometimes.

Sheila:

So in this case, with me putting all of this together, what I realized was, when I opened up the container of my mind of what I was available now to receive in this particular conversation series and I didn't have all the pieces, the pieces just started to land it really resonated. The message that I need to be speaking about really came through, and I was open to receive it because I had created the systems and the structure to be able to take action on it. And this is one little example of how things can be for you when you are going out, when you're creating a vision and you're wanting to step into it. Like I said, we have this vision of how it's going to look, but then there's what really happens, and often it can be even better. I feel like this message is one that's much bigger and more powerful than perhaps the message I would have been addressing in the series, so I invite you to stay tuned to that.

Sheila:

But more than ever, I want you to think about what are those things you're going after? What is your expectation of how it's supposed to look when it lands for you? Is it going to be something where you're pushing and you're like I've got to go and it's got to look exactly this way and I need to keep moving and just keep pushing, even if it doesn't feel good? Even it doesn't doesn't feel right, and sometimes even the good things are not going to feel good, right Like stepping into new arenas might not feel good because it doesn't feel familiar to us, right. So that's where having a beautiful community of soul sisters, business besties, other entrepreneurs around us is so helpful, and I'm grateful for mine. I wanna be able to provide that for you as well in the Seasons Collective, which you'll also be hearing about in two weeks. But that is the message. The message is sometimes the answers land that you're not expecting. That actually came to you much more easefully than if you were pushing and staying up late to try and make it happen.

Sheila:

That's my message for you today. What are those things that you want to achieve and how are you going about achieving them? And is there a way that you can actually step back a little, take a wider view at everything in your life and see if there is a different way of receiving it or a different way of it all coming together? Remove the blinders and open up your vision to a wider perspective, and you'll be so impressed by the magic that can land for you. The things that are already there around you, the opportunities, the people, the connections. They've been there all along. You've just not been seeing them, because your goal, you want to achieve it in one particular way, and maybe that way is the best way. Okay, so trust yourself If you like know this. It really is the way. In that case, be open to how can we collaborate to make it bigger, or how can we rest and lean into our community to help us move through this vision that we've created, feeling more supported and not trying to go it alone. That's the other message.

Sheila:

So that's my little story about goals and achievement and doing it in a less stressful way, and I think a lot of it has to do with awareness, and the awareness comes when you do make space for you to be quiet. In my case, I will always say get out in nature. Often the answers are amongst the trees. For me, or they're in the ocean or they're on the beach, and that is how magic happens. When you connect to really the source of all creation and you realize that you're not doing this really all by yourself, there is a support for you, even if it's not seen. You are supported and I look forward to cheering you on in your big, bold business vision and dreams, because it's my greatest joy to do so. So stay tuned.

Sheila:

If you're wanting details about the masterclass happening next Tuesday, please comment masterclass right here and I will make sure I get you details for that. I'm wishing you all the best as you continue through this week and into the weekend. Make sure that you take time for you, because it is in that stillness perhaps it's meditation, perhaps it's prayer, perhaps it's a quiet, lingering conversation with a friend on a walk, or a phone call while you're walking that will really just allow something to land for you. That is really powerful, that maybe you wouldn't have accessed all by yourself. The messages are there. We just need to get quiet enough to listen to them. So thanks so much for being here. I wish you all the best as you head into this weekend and I will see you Monday on another live and yeah, comment masterclass. Looking forward to hopefully seeing you on Tuesday. All the best, bye.