Access The Episode Webpage here.
It’s interview day!
In this enlightening episode, we sit down with Christina McMahon, Ph.D., a renowned love coach and certified somatic counselor, whose expertise in fostering love and relationships has transformed the lives of hundreds.
Featured in Cosmo and celebrated on the Insight Timer meditation app, Christina brings a wealth of knowledge from her years of guiding singles to find true love by breaking down internal barriers.
We talked about:
Whether you're navigating the dating world or looking to enrich your relationships, Christina's insights on conscious relationships and her Opening to Sacred Love program promise to illuminate the path to fulfilling connections. Tune in to discover how to step into the love life you deserve and get inspired by a key practice that could revolutionize your approach to love and self-care.
Follow Christina:
Connect with Sheila:
PS: Thanks so much for listening. I would love your review! If you enjoy what I share in this episode, rate, Review & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/connect-with-sheila-botelho/id1527363160 I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
Access The Episode Webpage here.
It’s interview day!
In this enlightening episode, we sit down with Christina McMahon, Ph.D., a renowned love coach and certified somatic counselor, whose expertise in fostering love and relationships has transformed the lives of hundreds.
Featured in Cosmo and celebrated on the Insight Timer meditation app, Christina brings a wealth of knowledge from her years of guiding singles to find true love by breaking down internal barriers.
We talked about:
Whether you're navigating the dating world or looking to enrich your relationships, Christina's insights on conscious relationships and her Opening to Sacred Love program promise to illuminate the path to fulfilling connections. Tune in to discover how to step into the love life you deserve and get inspired by a key practice that could revolutionize your approach to love and self-care.
Follow Christina:
Connect with Sheila:
PS: Thanks so much for listening. I would love your review! If you enjoy what I share in this episode, rate, Review & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/connect-with-sheila-botelho/id1527363160 I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
For me, dating is not a numbers game Like that's how you burn out. It's more important to like, boost your own worthiness right Without self-care, with that inner healing, that embodied healing. And then, when you are ready to date, it's this very slow, leisurely process of getting clear on what you want in the partner, identifying those core values and dating in a very targeted, specific way for that person.
Sheila:Hi, welcome to the Connect with Sheila Botelho podcast. I'm an entrepreneur, self-care strategist and creator of the Seasons Self-Care app. I'm committed to helping you reconnect to your purpose, elevate your well-being and build your version of a happy, successful life. It's interview day on the podcast and I'm delighted to introduce you to my guest today.
Sheila:Christina McMahon, Phd, is a love coach and certified somatic counselor who was recently featured in Cosmo Magazine. Over the past seven years, she's helped hundreds of conscious singles remove inner barriers to love and step into the love life they desire and deserve. She is one of the leading love and relationship teachers on the Insight Timer Meditation app, where her meditations and audio courses have received nearly a million plays. Christina does one-on-one video love coaching with singles all over the globe, and she's a creator of the Opening to Sacred Love online program. She's also a two-time speaker at the Mindfulness Expo in Anaheim, california, where she's given talks about conscious relationships with her husband and sacred partner, darren Cagle, lmft. Now I am just so excited, christina, to have you here, because we used to meet in online spaces and now we're face-to-face once again. Thank you so much for being here.
Christina:Oh, thank you so much for having me, sheila. I was so excited to talk to you, and you're just creating such an amazing dialogue here for women in your community, so thanks for inviting me to be a part of that.
Sheila:Oh, thank you so much, and I'd love to know because of course I don't know too many people who, when they were little girls, said I want to be a love coach.
Christina:Right. Who knew that was a?
Sheila:thing I don't know, and how awesome that it was, because I think a lot of people would say yes, please, right, and so especially little girls, right. And I would love to know what led you into this work. Where were you before. What is your PhD specifically?
Christina:in.
Sheila:Tell me the journey of what brought you here.
Christina:Okay, this is wild, right, this is kind of a wild ride because you're asking a big question. So not only am I a love coach right, that's kind of my niche but I'm a somatic counselor and energy healer, right. So those things were not on my radar, of course, when I was growing up and in fact the only thing I was working towards in my professional life was an academic career. So that's where the PhD comes from. I was full on, you know, did my master's in PhD and I was it was in it's actually in theater studies and not in, you know, theater, but like as an academic. So I was like doing research and field work in other countries. My specialization was African theater, you know. I was in the Peace Corps, you know, in the Cape Verde Islands and West African.
Christina:So I've kind of followed that path through academia and, you know, full on, got my dream job at UC Santa Barbara, you know, tenured and like just had this moment of realizing this is not right for me anymore. You know that it just wasn't my path and it actually came through an incident of trauma which I won't get into, but sometimes, like, our biggest spiritual kind of breakthroughs come from breakdown, and so that was a moment of real breakdown for me. It would actually happen when I was doing my field work, and it caused me to kind of reconsider what am I doing with my life? And like, what do I want to be doing with my life? And those choices that I was making to get me to academia was not actually living my life. It was like someone else, you know, like my dad. Let's just be specific, right.
Christina:So then when I like asked myself, what do I want to do? It was like writing. And then I started on this path to my own healing after that trauma, you know, learning, meditation, receiving energy, healing, getting counseling but everything just opened up that I was like, oh, this is actually what I want to do. Like, I want to be a healer, I want to be a counselor and I want to be a writer. Love coaching only came when I fell in love. So you know, we were kind of talking about synchronicities and there was a lot of those on my path to discovering what my niche was going to be. But I think the point was I couldn't have known my niche until I actually, like, fell in love and met my sacred partner and enter that secure base, and I was like, oh no, this is actually my calling.
Sheila:Oh, I love this. Oh, my goodness, what a trajectory. And, yes, there's so much, like you say, that intertwines right, and so how did you meet your partner and how long have you been together?
Christina:We've been together eight years this month, married for seven. We have a beautiful five and a half year old daughter named Ruby, and we met on Inside Timer, the Inside Timer Meditation app. That app has been good for me for so many reasons. It's my personal meditation community. It's now where I have my, my following, my, my community there, because I have content there on love and attracting in love and, yeah, I met my husband there.
Christina:So and this was really interesting because you're asking about my path right to how I got to where I want to be so and this is something that I teach in my work that I really feel like your life purpose and love are often found on the same path. So I was following different kinds of strands of my passion, like wanting to learn about children's writing Cause I also work on children's manuscripts as well as like a side thing, right, and then I also do like the personal growth, writing about love and relationships. And so I and and you know, at that time in my life, you know, coming out of that trauma, I was like I want to find a good healing school. Where can I learn how not just to do energy healing and energy work, but how to talk to people Like how do you do that kind of like really deep counseling? And so I had this dream. So this is crazy, this is synchronized, so this is really crazy, right. And I woke up one morning and like there was like words flashed before my eyes right before I woke up. You know, that moment like coming into wakefulness is kind of a really mystical time, you know, and like I feel like the universe can kind of drop things in. And the words were lion healer. And I was like what does that mean? So I go to and I found the lion heart Institute of energy healing in Los Angeles.
Christina:I was living in Santa Barbara at the time. I would have never checked out that healing school. I would have never heard of it. Their website wasn't that great. Even if I did find it online, I would have been like this is not my school. But since that message came, I was like maybe I should go check it out. I went to their free info session. That same day I met up with a children's writer in LA that someone had sort of put me in touch with. And so healing school that came in that day, meeting with the children's writer that came in that day and she's the one he told me about inside time I was like you got to start using this app and, like six months later, I met Darren on the app. Everything was connected the writing, the healing and love, everything on the same path. And that one day where everything came together, that is amazing and okay, everybody note to selves.
Sheila:When you wake up in the morning, when you're in that space, really pay attention.
Christina:Pay attention.
Sheila:Well, you guide people in meditation before bed and first thing in the morning. Absolutely, it's an amazing time. I know.
Sheila:I've had so many divine downloads, and this is the thing I love that you saw this and you took action on what that vision was. It could have been nothing, who knows? But what do you have to lose? And look what it led you to. Oh my gosh, I wonder. You know, when I really look back and I've shared this with dear friends, I've maybe been shared it here on an episode somewhere but I have found that the best things in my life have been things that have landed in my life. Oh yeah, they've not absolutely things that I've like really, really strived after. Actually, what ends up happening Is I may have been striving for something and then something came up to me on the way. Right was absolutely just not even focused on change and it came to me. So it's amazing when we have that time with ourselves.
Christina:Yes, yes, absolutely. And not to see it as a detour, like you said, like you were sometimes on one path Right and then something else came in, and to see that is just as really powerful information and guidance and not something that takes you off your path, but that's gonna get you further down your path.
Sheila:Well, I like that. It's almost like that.
Christina:Yes, it is, it is right, taking you in a kind of a different direction than, like, your compass is. You know, I thought I thought I did my life as an academic and you know, I left my job Full-on, left my very secure tenured pension, university job to strike off on my own as a love coach and writer. And I could not have done that, I don't think, without the support of my partner. Like, being in that secure partnership, having that secure base, like it was so Important to me and that's why I also feel called to help women who struggle with love because, like, if it's important to them, it's, I feel, it's meant to be in their life, it's meant to be on their life path. Not everyone wants a partnership with that same kind of strong intentionality. So why do we have that intention, those of us who do have that? And I think it's because, like, it's a soul Desire, because we're meant to actually have it and move towards it.
Sheila:I really believe that too. It's interesting how we can sometimes, or people that I've talked to will share with me. You know they they play so much emphasis on External success, like unintentionally, and they ask themselves why am I doing this? And then the relationship side tends to suffer. Yeah, it doesn't always have to be that way. It's right that I will see it, but I'm seeing more often because my circles are of those people who are wanting to.
Christina:Really they've got a good mindset.
Sheila:They, they're really in the work and they're wanting more and they're allowing themselves to have it so great. Yeah, that's what it takes, though, because, yeah, we are taught the external things that we need to be focusing on, and often it is. Yeah the expense of those things like relationships, and you know, you mentioned, you know how most love seekers Mm-hmm, whether they're people you're talking to or people, yeah, I mean around you, yeah, I love hungry like they feel, yes, on the inside.
Christina:Yes.
Sheila:And they try to get love from others to fill that hole. Yes, so I'd love for you to talk about this, because you there's an energy pattern that you mentioned, so maybe describe that, because yes hopefully, many of us can relate to this.
Christina:Yes, and, and I totally lived in that pattern and still do right, because when we have our energy patterns right, they're kind of with us through our whole lives, right. And so this is. This was part of the curriculum of that, you know, lionheart School. I went to characterology types, five major characterology types, right, and energy patterns, and so the pattern that I see the most in my work Is called the merging pattern, right, and it comes from what you just described people who feel love hungry, so people who have been like love seeking for a while and have not found that fulfilling relationship. And they're just like, why Can I get this right? It seems like everyone around me Falling in love and during those secure partnerships, like what is it? And they start to really take it on themselves, like, what is it about me? Am I like repelling people? And that's not actually what's going on, like it's often coming from a wounding Right.
Christina:So the merging pattern comes from, you know, an early time in life, like oftentimes it's around two years old, you know, or younger around that time, you know. Imagine a toddler, you know, and it's just, they have a lot of needs and there's a Caregiver who just, for whatever reason, cannot meet all of those needs right. And for me, like in my own life, I feel like it's a kind of a very simple reason that you know, I was born at a time when my parents' marriage was really failing and struggling and my mom had a lot of stress and anxiety over that. I Was also born 16 months after my sister, my older sister, so she had a 16 month old running around and a new baby, and I know now that I'm highly sensitive, right, so there's probably a lot of people in your community who are, you know, empath types, highly sensitive, and so those kids tend to have bigger emotions, you know, stronger needs, and All of that was just like this sort of potent mix for me to develop this Merging pattern, this like feeling of like I'm just not gonna get my needs net right. So you do whatever you can to sort of pull it in. You know, and when I was little it's like tantrums would get me attention, so it so you know, but then that also like interrupted the relationship with my caregivers, so then it was just like a very fraught territory.
Christina:I feel like to get my needs met right. So then how that shows up as adults is like we're constantly trying to pull Other people towards us, right, and it's an energy thing, right, so it's not necessarily something we're consciously aware of, but, like, there's this diagram of the merging pattern I'm looking at right now. I have a little cheat sheet here where it's like the, the person is like literally trying to pull someone in with, with, like her eyes, you know, and it's just sort of like having that void on the inside and just you know, I need someone to just kind of come in and fill me up, right, whether that's a dating context, or getting approval from someone you know at work, or getting, like you know, external validation for like achievements or whatever she's doing in her life, but especially with love and relationships. And so, like people in the dating world can feel that energetic pull and it can sometimes, often, get in the way of a healthy relationship. We can all.
Christina:It also Impacts the partners we choose, right, because, like, what's familiar to us, if we have the merging pattern, is not getting our needs met, so like we tend to gravitate towards Partners who are inconsistent, not showing up for us. Well, like my pattern was, like you know, men who would treat me as like the one-night stand or like the temporary girl, or you know, the good time girl, or you know, and it took me a while to realize a weight. I'm actually accepting this like I'm not. I was just blaming them for a while and I was like, wait a second. Why am I Accepting this? You know, and it was part of really that wounding. So it's like we need to be able to fill that hole in ourselves and feel whole on the inside In order to reverse that pattern, and that's where the energy work and the somatic work comes in.
Sheila:I love that. It's a combination of all the things because, you know, while therapy itself is so incredibly powerful, often it's like we come, these things come to light for us and it's like okay, now what? How do I?
Christina:deal with that? Yes, exactly.
Sheila:We are burying it in our bodies.
Christina:Yes, absolutely so challenging.
Sheila:What an interesting insight, though, too. Like when you share that, like those, the patterning that happens, like what happened when you were two. So everyone listening, like, think about that, like what was the family dynamic? Maybe you don't even know, maybe this is a beautiful opportunity if you're able to talk to a loved one who was raising you at the time hopefully like not, I mean it's, it's you may know a story.
Sheila:It's so interesting to have this kind of historical data and if, if not, I'm sure you probably meet with people who maybe they were adopted, maybe they parents aren't around anymore. How would you invite them into this type of inquiry for themselves in a safe way?
Christina:That is a beautiful question. So, and here's the thing, we don't have to remember what happened. We don't need to have that memory because the body holds it all. Right, like in my healing school we learned the issue is in the tissue, you heal the tissue, the body tissue. You hear that you heal the issue and vice versa, right, so oftentimes it's a sensate impression, right?
Christina:So, for example, with the merging pattern, right, it could be like a flicking aching in the stomach, like when I work somatically with my clients. It's usually either something that tension in the chest, right, the chest kind of feels closed off. There's tension in the belly, or the throat feels closed off, and that's a pattern of not feeling comfortable about speaking up, right? So if you have those sensations come up for you around love and relationships, it's probably there, you know, from when you were younger, and so the idea is to get in there, right, so you know you can learn how to do this by yourself. But, yeah, it's. I think it's much more effective to work with a professional, you know, a therapist who works somatically, or a counselor or a coach, right, to help you work with those sensations, because your life force is actually trapped underneath those sensations and it's all about emotions that were not expressed when you were younger, and so the pattern starts at two, but probably it continued past that right. So it's like there may be memories from when you're older, or maybe not right, but the body's going to hold it all.
Christina:So, like when I work with clients and we get in, we work with those sensations.
Christina:There's just like this outpouring of emotions, there's grief, and then we wait for the grief to kind of the waves of that, to pass, and then there's anger underneath right, and the anger passes and then, like this life force just like shoots up. Like client I worked with yesterday, she's like I just feel like buzzy all over my body. We went through the grief and we went through the anger. Then she had this buzz. I was like, yes, that's your life force, that's what's been locked underneath, and like you feel more yourself at your core, and when you're more yourself, then you can attract and and draw in partners who are going to. You know you're going to fill each other up, right, are you going to be whole onto yourselves and compliment each other? So, yes, so if you don't have memory of that or if, like, it's hard for you to go back and work with the memories. The sensations are enough, you know, to give those sensations in the body a lot of compassion, healing, validation and seeing what emotions are underneath.
Sheila:You know it's been such a beautiful thing to be exposed to some of the somatic work myself.
Christina:And as you're sharing.
Sheila:I think about people in my life who maybe are of a different generation, yeah, and the amount of trauma that they may have been through. Like you know that there was trauma, yeah, and you know, yeah they're carrying, and to give them that liberation of really what it feels like to, like you say, be themselves. Yeah, they may not even know what is that buzzing exactly feeling of being themselves. They've never actually experienced it because everything's been repressed. Yes, really unlocking a gift for people in your work.
Sheila:I love that you're doing this. I also would love to know so you talked about the merging pattern. Is there a pattern? Or for people who like, say, think of a client or somebody who you know they had a good experience when they were younger like, yeah, pretty solid. I mean to the you said, hey, mom is tired because you know there's people aren't at us and there's another baby, whatever.
Christina:Right, right right.
Sheila:But then those people who tend to attract like kind of work projects for relationships, got it. Yeah, like through the fixers.
Christina:Any insights on that? Yeah, okay, so then the people they attract in are like kind of fixer uppers. Yeah, yes, got it, got it. Yeah, yeah, I do have an idea about that. And, by the way, with these five patterns, like the theory is that we actually kind of run all of them, all of us, but then we have like a primary one and a secondary one.
Christina:The kind of person you're talking about might be someone who runs what's called the rigid pattern and the rigid pattern like this. This is developed at a much later age, like between like 810 or even like into, like the teenage years, and this is someone who likes a lot of order in their life. Right, they need to have a lot of like order and structure. This is the kind of person who's got that long to do list. They might not have access to their emotions. You talk to them like everything's fine, everything's great, right, but, once again, not really like feeling what's underneath, right, and so that pattern could have come from maybe a time in their life when either, like their caregivers were like running the same pattern, like you know, in the rigid pattern, or there was a chaos and so they drew in the rigid pattern to kind of have some control over their lives, right In the midst of like chaos.
Christina:But I could see that kind of person being with these like kind of fixer upper types, because they like projects. So it's like let me like fix everything. They just like tidy up this corner of my house, let me fix this area of my business and then I'm going to like fix this person. You know this partner like that. You know that is a potential. That's another like healing and that the rigid pattern can be more challenging to work with somatically because they often don't have as much access to sensations in their body. They're very much in the upper chakras, like in the intellectual capacity, right. So that's a lot of work with just having them start just feeling sensation and the rest of their body and grounding before we can even get in there and work with some of the emotions there.
Sheila:Oh, yes, and it sounds like I have a feeling you have something that talks about these five pillars that you will be sharing. Is that something you have? People can ask.
Christina:It's actually I'm only so. I brought it into my client work. I'm only starting to bring it into my writing. Now. I have a new course I'm going to be launching on Insight Timer in March probably which is called Depealing for Love and really that's really focused on the merging pattern. But I will share. I have a book proposal started which we asked. I'm going to be bringing in all the five patterns and how they can show up in your dating life.
Sheila:I'm so excited you got to keep me posted. You need to come back on. We need to share the course because I know it's a process, but like you just let me know, I will definitely.
Sheila:I mean, I have a few dear friends who you know. I mean we talk about relationships. Some of them are like working on new relationships and so it's just interesting that they're coming into it with a mindset like some of them are actually working with a therapist. They've had a therapist for a while but they're actually involving this therapy work with how they're feeling as they're going about this dating. Yes, it's just a game changer because they're really being self-reflective and they're realizing, recognizing their old patterns and then actually doing things a little differently. Yeah, and the result is they're actually attracting a different kind of person. Yes, so important. Yeah, Initially they're like I don't know why does this feel so unsafe? Because it's safe, but safe feels unsafe to them because they're just having a pattern.
Sheila:Exactly, I'm waiting for the shoe to drop. It's just not dropping, because this is actually a good match.
Christina:I love that. Yes, yeah, that's happening to your friends and what happens for my clients. I'm just like we got to anchor this in. This is a huge repatterning here. I want you to just really sit with that. Okay, this person is showing up for you really well. They're in contact with you every day. They're asking you questions about how you feel on the inside. They are remembering to listen to your podcast or they're just giving you thoughtful gifts because they know what you like and who you are and they're like you need to anchor this in. It's unfamiliar and it has to become your new normal.
Sheila:Yeah, and I see I was muted there, and so what I love about this is that you get to celebrate it, because so often I don't think people celebrate these things. They just they want to get things moving, they just want to see progress, and then okay, on to the next thing, but the stopping, the anchoring and the celebrating is so powerful. Yes, and so I'd love to share about something we were talking about earlier, before we hit records Mm-hmm. We were talking about women who, or people who are really professionally successful.
Christina:Yes.
Sheila:And yet they struggle, romantically, yes, and they don't understand why and like that internal, external kind of program that's running.
Christina:Absolutely. That is that if you just describe, like one of the primary profiles of, like, my clientele, my students on Insight Timer, and it's so bewildering to them. You know I work with clients. You know who are corporate, corporate leaders, you know, team leaders, executives, successful entrepreneurs, like totally like self-made, like huge on, you know, on Instagram, like really really doing well, you know.
Christina:And then, when it comes to Levin Dany, they don't feel in their personal power and they don't feel that they're being chosen, you know, by quality people, the kind of partners they want to be with. They feel like, you know, they get very reactive or insecure, you know, or sometimes they could avoid it and they're just like, okay, what is going on? Right. And so what I have found over the years and this is like seven years of doing this work now is that oftentimes it's a situation again going back to, like early childhood, where that experience of being seen in their full self, you know, and really like reflected and understood, feeling heard and seen, that did not happen for them, right, what was reflected and validated was their external achievements, right, you know, if I so, and this is like one of my mentors at school taught me this, he's like, you know, if you can't get love, the second best thing you're going to try to get is approval, right. So you're going to try to get those good grades. You're going to try to do those extracurriculars, get into all the best schools, you know, like overachieve, so that you can compensate.
Christina:You know, get that approval for your accomplishments, you know, because you're not getting the love, so that seed for accomplishing gets watered right, so no wonder it sprouts right and it's like they're amazing professionally, you know, and in their careers, and that seed for being loved and seen, for who they are, just not get watered right, and so that's often why that happens. And so the work is to you know, learn how to water that seed for yourself. Surround yourself, being a community of people who can water that seed, you know, reflect you to yourself, right, you can be seen and you're full gifts, right, and you know, working with someone, often like one-on-one to have have, have them help you water that seed like, because once that seed gets watered it's going to sprout too. And then, like, once that seed sprouts, whoa, then the business and the career takes off even more. So, right, because you are like fully yourself and if you're in your gifts more and dating and love and relationships. You're going to be in your gifts more in your business as well.
Sheila:Oh, I love this analogy of the seed.
Christina:Yeah.
Sheila:And it all comes back to these, these nature analogies. It speaks so much to my soul because we can complicate things so much, yes, but it makes so much sense when you put it this way and understanding that someone who can be so successful and yet struggling in that area that when, when things improve in their relationships, it only enhances, yes, everything else. And maybe then looking at creating different, healthy boundaries is so helpful, and the women that I work with it's, you know, it's very, it's that successful, driven, ambitious archetype yes, right.
Sheila:So for a lot of the challenge that they experience is like it's their business, baby, so so much energy is put into it.
Christina:Absolutely.
Sheila:Their own caring for themselves may suffer and also, as a result that impacts relationships. Yes, right, our work is very intertwined.
Christina:It really is. I think we're just realizing this now and this now.
Sheila:It's the basic needs that really we may call them basic needs, but they're so foundational.
Christina:Yes.
Sheila:Sit without them. That's right. See people, I think, who they may look so successful on the outside, but then something tragic may happen. And you think what I don't understand? Yeah, and it's because there's the, it's what's going on. We all have a story. So yeah, it's definitely worth all of us excavating that story, like you say, not necessarily having to even go back and go deep what exactly happened, but like you don't, where are you now?
Christina:Get into the body.
Sheila:Let's get it out of there.
Christina:Yeah, absolutely, and I think what you just said is so important about the women you work with who can be so full on, like putting all their energy in their business, and they're not taking the time to care for themselves, right.
Christina:So if they're not caring for themselves, it's like how can you really expect others to really like know how to care for you, because you don't. You have to be able to show yourself and others like how it's done, right. So I feel like self care is like a supreme act of worthiness, right, and that's like anyone who runs the merging pattern, like you got to get that worthiness factor up on the inside, right. So self care is, like you know, it's like a two for right. So you got your business right, you're doing the self care. It's a two for you're going to grow your business because you have the self care strategy going on which allows you to show up better for your business, and it's also this profound act of worthiness that helps get you ready for love and can help you like draw in a different kind of love because a woman who nourishes herself really is magnetic.
Sheila:Oh yeah, oh yeah. Feel the difference, right? You and I have a lot of examples around us of women who really embody that. And I feel it as I'm talking to you, there's just a groundedness of you're just you're doing the work you're meant to be doing.
Sheila:And you have the commitment to your life and your boundaries like we were talking about travel earlier and convenience of others and you're totally cool with how it is right now because it's what you've chosen, and so that boundary is really, really big and, taking a comparison out of the equation, yes, I think so too, and just hearing you talk made me think of something else that might be helpful for your community, because I feel like, especially, you know, women who are these like very successful, kind of busy, ambitious CEO types, might also try to bring that mentality into dating.
Christina:Like, let me just see you this, dating apps and kind of burn out right, because it's just all about, like the external action and just like trying to connect with as many people, going as many dates as you can, and for me, dating is not a numbers game, like that's how you burn out, you know. So it's more important to like boost your own worthiness, right, without self-care, without inner healing, that embodied healing. And then, when you are ready to date, it's this very slow, leisurely process of getting clear on what you want in the partner, identifying those core values and dating in a very targeted, specific way for that person so that, like, you're actually going on fewer dates, right, but with people who are more aligned with what you want.
Sheila:Right and knowing that, I love that you put that piece in there. Because, it's like when you have that understanding, it's not about speed, it's not about, like timing is a thing, but it's not about even right timing, like you deciding you are going to be in a place where it's just right and you are right on time, and the time the clock is not running out, and you know, now I'm in my fifties it's like, oh, you know what? Yeah, no point in worrying about time we have the time given.
Sheila:Make today count by caring for yourself first, and everything else will open up for you. I mean, I look at even when you think about like tasks in our day and things that we need to do, and sometimes we can overload the schedule and exhausted by the end of the day and feel like did I really even accomplish anything?
Sheila:And there are days where there's a few things that you do and you have a lot of open space and it feels like the day just went on and on and it was lush amazing, and you're like I accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. How did that happen? I think we can apply that to our relationships. Yes, you can favor it. You can favor it.
Christina:Less is more. Yes, absolutely, with dating and in relationships too. And you know, like, especially if there's a family, right, and you have kids, right. So there's the quantity of like the date nights and like that you know one on one time together is maybe not there, but if you can think into it when it does happen and really like embrace the quality of the time you do have, like that's everything for building that connection, for dating and in partnership.
Sheila:Oh, it really is. I love that you spoke to that Because, yeah, I've definitely experienced that. I know a lot of people who come through this this time, where you know it's all of the different seasons of parenthood.
Sheila:And you think oh, they're teenagers now, so they don't need me as much. Oh, my goodness, it's just a different ball game. Like we cannot exit stage left. We need to be there to hear what's going on as they're grappling with things and emotions and all of that stuff. And, let's face it, you don't want to miss it right. Those boundaries are so important, with having the time with your partner and having it Absolutely Way better on those days where I've really practiced my self care.
Christina:Yes, and within within your business too, and within your work too, it's like, like you said, like not taking on too much during during the day, you know, giving yourself that space.
Sheila:Yeah, the space. And on days like today where I'm, you know, chatting with and interviewing different people, it was so nice to have it in a container, because then you have time to reflect time. Yes, because while I'm in this type of space, it is a different energy and she can totally give yourself over to it and it feels good. Yes, so it's my favorite day when I'm connecting with anybody.
Christina:It's like it's my favorite. It's like the best day ever. Well, that's why your podcast is named connect right. That's the energy, that's what brings? You alive, right. So you're really living that and modeling that, you know, for your listeners. You know you are stepping into what brings you alive and what brings you into your fullness and your gifts. So thank you for you know being that beacon of light.
Sheila:I appreciate you for saying that. That's so wonderful yeah.
Christina:So, christina, I would love to know where can people find and follow you?
Sheila:Yes, do you have coming up, like you alluded to it? Maybe talk about like what's, what are offerings, what are ways people can work with you right now and then, what should they be looking out for?
Christina:Okay, yes, so so how to start connecting with me? So you can. I have a dating mastery toolkit that you can sign up for for free and join my mailing list, join my community, and that includes a free dating guide for lasting love, which is like super helpful. It's like really chock full. I really condensed some of my, my best tips and put it in there, and an exclusive meditation called find love in the dating playground, which is not on any meditation app. So you can get that at wwwgetmydatingguidecom slash, sign up or go to my website, christina and mcmanncom. And so my one-on-one offerings.
Christina:I am offering a beautiful way to get started which is called the five day healing journey for love and it's basically like a weekend intensive. It's a customized retreat that I do one-on-one with women, mostly with women. There are there are some, you know, conscious single men out there you know who find me but where we really get to the heart of like what is your energy pattern right and sort of what's the pain point? We need to heal somatically and we work intensively on that for a weekend and these weekends, like have just seen like amazing breakthroughs. I don't like to use the word fast track with love because, like you said, there is timing and we can't always control it, but in terms of the breakthroughs, it is a fast track to break through because we just get in there and we just really like get some, you know, get some good ground, you know groundwork going for the work.
Christina:So that's the five day healing journey, for love is a great way to get started with one-on-one and then often, you know, continuing with monthly coaching after that, and so that's something that people can sign up for. You can book a free consult call with my client care specialist, celeste, who we both know. You can book that call with her on my website If you go to the one-on-one section, navigate to work with me and one-on-one. I also have an online program opening to sacred love, which is more, you know, for women who just, or you know, contesting goals, who want to. You know just kind of start with the DIY and you know it's seven beautiful modules to move through that, you know there's audio, there's videos, there's written documents. There's also like a lot of shock, a lot of energy work in their shock or openers, you know, to help you to kind of start doing the work yourself.
Sheila:That's so great. It's so accessible to be able to have all these different options and I really feel like people get so much value. Thank you for sharing that. And everyone will be linked in the show notes so great. Go check that out after Nice. So, christina, tell me, knowing all of these things and experiences you have right now in this season of your life, what self-care is lighting you up these days?
Christina:Okay. So is this do you want to do a guided practice right now or like a quick tip? What would be more?
Sheila:Yes, yes Should we do the guided practice. Let's end on a guided practice, okay, okay, everybody get comfortable.
Christina:Okay, great, and this is something you can do for yourself just in one to two minutes a day. And what we're going to do here is connect the heart chakra to the solar plexus chakra, right? So the heart chakra is our seat of love, self-love, unconditional love, relational love. Solar plexus is really about our will, our personal power, action, and so I think especially women in your community and people who run the merging pattern have that sort of love hungry, you know, aspect of them. We have to be able to connect those two areas of ourselves.
Christina:So, yeah, so go ahead and get comfortable and place one hand on your heart, one hand on your solar plexus, so that's just above the navel, and just start with a couple of deep breaths and with the hand on your heart, I want you to imagine that inside of you, in that area, there is a higher source of love.
Christina:So, whatever you, whatever term you use to call on that source whether that's the universe, the divine, your wise self, maybe mother nature and with your hand on your heart, I want you to really tap into that abundant source of love and just know that you are actually merged with that source on the inside.
Christina:You are not separate from it.
Christina:You're breathing into that feeling in your heart of you connecting to, in an embodied way, that higher source of love that never runs out. And now imagine that that source of love in your heart center forms the channel. We can picture this as a column of white light that extends down to your solar plexus, where your other hand is resting, and just imagine that these two areas are connected and they're each filling up with light and when you breathe in you can even imagine that you're kind of sucking up that light from a straw. So it's kind of extending out throughout your whole body and really concentrated in these areas and your heart and your solar plexus. And when you are in this place you can even bring in some mantras like I am enough I can focus inward and feel whole, full in my inner self. I am enough I can focus inward and feel whole, full in my inner self. So just take one more deep breath in and out here and using that love and light in those areas to anchor you into the rest of your day.
Sheila:Oh, what a beautiful way for us to end our conversation. I feel so good. Oh, I'm so glad.
Christina:Thank you, Sheila. It's been such a gift to be here with you. You are such a gift and it's just been wonderful, wonderful to share this time with you.
Sheila:Thank you, christina. I really appreciate it, and everyone, oh my goodness, I hope that you, if you weren't able to do it live, go back and do it. Do it as often as you need to. Creating practices like this are really what connect us to who we really are.
Christina:And we are really loved. You are loved.
Sheila:You are magic.
Christina:Yes, oh, really well said yes Okay.
Sheila:Thank you so much, sheila. So wonderful, so everybody go check out the show notes for all the beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, luscious offerings that are there for you.
Sheila:And, as you are listening to this, I'd love if you would do us a favor and share some of your insights that come from listening to this, this episode, and go over to social media and tag us if you feel like you want to, or DM us. We'd love to know. It's just so beautiful to know really how these episodes land. So do that, and I'm so appreciative of you listening. I look forward to seeing you on another episode and until then, have a beautiful rest of your day. Big blessings, thanks to all the people we appreciate each other for.