CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast

059: Relieving Overwhelm with Self Care - Q&A

March 03, 2021 Sheila Botelho
CONNECT with Sheila Botelho Podcast
059: Relieving Overwhelm with Self Care - Q&A
Show Notes Transcript

Episode Notes:

In this week's Q&A I share three ways to access your best wellness and to increase your capacity during challenging times.

1. The place to start to lessen anxiety

2. Two questions to ask to clarify your current situation

3. Daily habits that will create more ease

Using self care to help you ease overwhelm is an accessible way anyone can do. All you need to do is to be gentle with yourself, get honest, and make those shifts you most need. 

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*Please consult your physician or health advisor before beginning any new healing or self-care protocol.

There are more stressors around us than ever.


New challenges, daily structures, and more shifts to how we live our life than we’ve formerly been used to.


So it makes sense that overwhelm can be at an all time high for many people.


So what can we do to reduce or hopefully eliminate this overwhelm?


All of us are different. We come from a different experience.


Those who experienced significant trauma earlier in their life can either be greatly affected by uncertainty and overwhelm, while others may have developed healthy habits to support themselves through difficult times As A Result of their early experiences.


And others have made it their life’s work to help others through times of high stress or overwhelm after they discovered the tools to do it themselves.


What’s most important to know if you’re feeling overwhelmed is that you’re not alone in it. So many people are facing a variety of big emotions in their world. 


With that in mind, I invite you to not go through it alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or other professional to walk through it alongside you.


That’s why I wanted to talk about this today. To keep shining a light on how you can find hope through the struggles that you or someone you know may be facing.


So first off, for high levels of stress and anxiety, there are professionals who offer support online right now and you can reach out to the health practitioner in your region for who to contact. 


What I’m sharing today can complement any professional assistance you may be having.


And it can be very helpful for those of us who are experiencing lower levels of stress and overwhelm. Finding the day to day more challenging than usual. Often in these cases we can find ourselves moving towards unhealthy habits of coping, like numbing behaviors like eating too much comfort food, especially late at night, bingeing on tv or social scrolling and going into the comparison vortex, having one too many glasses of wine, more often than usual, or spiralling down into thought patterns that don’t serve us.


Our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us are often at the core of how we feel and how we act.


***


So I feel like a really helpful place to begin is with asking yourself:


“What do I believe about my current life situation?”


Sometimes saying it out loud to yourself, a trusted person in your life, or writing it down can provide a little bit of relief. There’s power in naming what’s going on in our lives.


Once you’ve named the situation, you can then ask yourself:


“What, if anything, do I control in this situation?”


In a large-scale event like we’ve all been moving through recently, it’s totally understandable to believe that we’re powerless. Acknowledging that first, and having grace on yourself for feeling that way can bring a bit of ease.


And in speaking with people, I’ve noticed, that often, the next words that come out of their mouth are, “Well, at least I (blank).”  “At least I have my home.” or “At least I have my job or business.” or “At least I have my family.”


I want to say at this point, maybe those things aren’t true for you right now. Maybe you’ve experienced deep losses in many areas of your life. This is true for many. I want to acknowledge that.”  In these situations, depending on where you live, hopefully there are social agencies who have programs to assist you through these times.


For many people who I see day-to-day, who have had to change up their lifestyle, but they have their needs met, it looks different. 

In my recordings, I tend to be speaking to ambitious women who are leading careers, businesses and/or families. I also realize that not everyone fits into this category, so I can’t speak specifically to every situation.


But one thing that’s universal is this need to have grace on yourself during this time, asking for help, and doing whatever you can to bring a sense of healthy peace into your life. (SIDEBAR: Would it be great if this exceptional time taught us to have more grace on ourselves as a reflex action? Imagine how our lives and contribution would improve.)


So we’ve covered:

-How you should get in touch with a professional if your anxiety are spiraling and you know you can’t handle it by yourself. Asking for help is so powerful.


-Naming the situation and asking yourself: 
“What do I believe about my current life situation?” 
and 

“What, if anything, do I control in this situation?”


-Next I invite you to explore what you do control. Your thoughts, your breathing, your wake and sleep times, what and how you eat, who you talk to, what information you consume...there’s so much you do have a say in.


And again, I realize the spectrum will look different for everyone.


Once you become focused on what you can control, you can see what you can shift. 


This involves more questions for you to ponder:


Is there a habit that you’ve known all year, or longer, that is contributing to your anxiety and overwhelm? 


Is there a project or idea you need to put on hold, or let go of entirely?


Is there an area of your life that you can delegate more or ask for more help at work or at home?


If you’re running a business, are there any apps that you can use to automate certain tasks that are draining you? Should you bring on an assistant?


What I’ve found during times of stress and uncertainty in my life is that the best form of self-care I can practice is to get granular about the inner workings of my life. Look at all the things I do in a day, week, or month, and the way I do them.


Often we keep doing the same things over and over because we’ve “always done them this way”. And yet, we can always decide to make a change. Going into the day to day activities can help bring clarity on these things.


The self care takes on the form of creating pockets of quiet space to assess your life details and emotions.


It then leads you to asking another question:


“What would make me feel lighter, more supported, or more at ease right now?”


It could be something as simple as dropping everything and going to bed early - before your teenagers, like I did the other night. (It felt strange, but the outcome was that I was so much more rested and clear-headed the next day).


Or it could be something as big as reassessing your career path. 


Your life is multidimensional and there are many moving parts.


And what I’ve found personally, as well as what many ambitious, big-hearted women have shared with me is this:


When we ask ourselves questions like the ones I’ve just shared, we often know that answers. Not always, but SO much of the time.


We may have even known the answer for a very long time, but were too distracted, afraid or trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. 


As I end this conversation for now, I want to remind you that you are wise, and worthy of feeling at peace. 


Using self care to help you ease overwhelm is an accessible way anyone can do. All you need to do is to be gentle with yourself, get honest, and make those shifts you most need. Always knowing there are people around you who are willing to help, if you just ask.


I hope you find these questions and potential action steps helpful and that you’ll make space to assess how you’re really doing this week.


I’d love to hear what came up for you as you listened. Please share with me in the comments, tag a friend who can relate, or tag me on Instagram @sheilaabotelho to let me know. In our virtual world, it’s one way we can stand together in a time where we can feel an over abundance of solitude.


Thanks for being here. I wish you all the best.